Have you ever tried to name yourself? It’s difficult. Every time I try to pick out a pen name, I go back to my lifelong philosophical dilemma of trying to figure out who I am.
To me, this is THE question. The question is not “Why am I here?” or “What is my purpose?”. Those questions are meaningless without first figuring out who “I” am. Who cares why they’re here or what their purpose is if they don’t even know who they are?
Or… can we define who without defining why? Does the why give structure and meaning to the who?
And this is where my brain goes when I try to come up with a proper pseudonym. How can I choose a name to attach to my work? I am attached to my work, and this makes it difficult to slap any name or label as a byline to something that I’ve poured myself into — or that I’ve poured out of myself. It’s a part of me.
But… who is me?
And this is the question. The loop. The cycling thoughts that accompany me on this journey.
So, I’ve chosen to go with the name I feel most closely linked to. The name that bears meaning to my heritage, my heart and my home. It is linked to my roots and my choices that have given my world meaning. It is me (in a shortened form) — as best as I know how to define me at this point.
And, so, here is E.M. Claytor — writer of poems and short, scattered blocks of text, author of unpublished (and unfinished) volumes of philosophy and psychology, scribbler of lyrics with forgotten chord progressions and melodies, paint splatterer extraordinaire and lover of goofy, playful, authentic and informal moments.
My intention for this year is to tell my story – to no longer hide my writing, my thoughts, my voice but to write and to speak what is me.
The purpose of my life is to tell my story. And so I will tell it — in whatever medium or platform I am led to use in the moment.
I may post photographs, paintings, poems, rambling blog posts, academic writing, journalistic stories, goofy one-liners, snippets of songs, etc. Topics will most definitely vary. I obsess over depth psychology, Carl Jung, nature, psychology, holistic wellness, existentialism, all things mid century, the Beat Generation, energy medicine, neuroscience, narrative therapy, creativity and releasing creative blocks, New Mexico, intuition, synchronicity… and the list could go on, but I will stop there.
So with a name (and a .com), I have a starting place to build and express an identity.
To explore the question of “Who am I?”.
And find out what happens as I tell my story.
EMClaytor