Calling – e.m.claytor

Tag: Calling

Follow What Energizes You: Spiral Path to PhD

Posted on March 11, 2020March 11, 2020 by EMC

Yesterday, I found out that I’ve been accepted into the only PhD program I was remotely interested in. I knew when I was still getting my masters degree in counseling that I wanted to get my doctorate, and I even knew that I wanted to pursue something in the fields of depth psychology or consciousness studies. But once I graduated – like most students – I was ready to work in the field and rest my mind for a little while.

When I found out that I had been accepted, I was overwhelmed with emotions. I was excited, relieved, and confused. The reality that this is happening set in and a flood of fear and anxiety rushed in with it – where will we live? How will we make it? Will we be able to find an affordable place WITHOUT MOLD? Not gonna lie – this is one of my biggest fears.

But in the midst of this swirl of emotion, I’ve also been reflecting a lot on the journey that has brought me to this place at this time — spirals, career inventories, conferences, chance meetings. I love connecting the pieces in retrospect. Continue reading “Follow What Energizes You: Spiral Path to PhD” →

Nature Calling: Return to the Plant Path

Posted on February 5, 2020February 18, 2020 by EMC

“All that man needs for health and healing has been provided by God in nature; the challenge of science is to find it.” – Paracelsus

Since I’ve been out of work because of mold illness (find that story here), I have been surprisingly happy. Not just happy, but overwhelmingly happy and excited.

Now don’t get me wrong – I am definitely having moments of panic about paying bills because I for real have no income. It’s terrifying. But despite losing my house, my job, pretty much everything I own and still battling mold sickness, I am so happy.

In many ways it feels like I’m rediscovering me. I have a completed book of poetry that is nearing publication (Update: It’s here!). I am working to improve on guitar and have learned to finger pick (thank you, dear husband, for that lesson). And I have returned to my long-time love – herbal medicine – and it is filling my heart with so much life. Continue reading “Nature Calling: Return to the Plant Path” →

I Am Grateful Today for Mold

Posted on January 29, 2020January 29, 2020 by EMC

We are not made for this lifestyle America has glorified. We are made to connect with nature, to create, to serve (without sacrificing your truth and your purpose). Our system is broken. Our mindsets are clouded with false beliefs. We are trapped in a system believing it makes us good, hardworking people and denying that our souls are suffering because of it.

I’ve spent the morning outdoors. It’s chilly, overcast, and the air is a little damp with the threat of rain. I took my boots off to connect my feet with the earth (I’ve read that grounding is more important to healing than the food you eat.). I broke off a sprig of rosemary and breathed in the scent then laid it in my lap as I looked around at nature living all around me – woodpeckers, blue jays, tiny wrens, tubby robins, the bare trees swaying under the weight of squirrels scrambling. I have missed this – sitting in nature simply watching. Alone with my senses and my thoughts.

I’m so grateful for where I am. I am so happy. I am grateful that I am in a place where I can enjoy the morning at my own pace. I can think. I can create. On my own time.

Working in a demanding place, Monday – Friday, 8-4:30 (and later at times), takes away so much. I love the work I do (did?), but I’m realizing on a deeper level that I was fading quickly. Yes, I was full of mold sickness. But at a very deep level, I was unhappy in my job. I was in a place that was misaligned with who I am. Continue reading “I Am Grateful Today for Mold” →

Becoming the Writer: Overcoming Self-Limiting Beliefs and Moving Toward Purpose

Posted on April 8, 2019April 10, 2019 by EMC

“Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality.” – Earl Nightingale

I can barely remember a time before the word “writer” was a part of my identity. I was watching Dick Van Dyke reruns on Nick at Nite when I was 6, and I realized that I wanted to be a writer – a “head writer” actually.

So, in school, when the teacher asked us the typical “What do you want to be when you grow up?” question, I responded proudly, “A Head Writer!” I’m fairly certain I was beaming. To my surprise, I was met with blank stares from both teacher and classmates.

“A what?? A head waiter?” This was obviously ridiculous – what was a head waiter anyway?

“No! A head WRITER.” Still – only blank stares.

Continue reading “Becoming the Writer: Overcoming Self-Limiting Beliefs and Moving Toward Purpose” →