Since Covid-19 has hit heavily in the United States in the last month, I (and many others) have had an unbelievable spike in anxiety. Honestly, it’s some of the most intrusive anxiety I’ve experienced in many years, so I’m finding myself returning to the tools that I’ve used in the past personally and tools that I use with clients when counseling. Continue reading “Practical Tips for Managing Anxiety”
Tag: health
Nature Calling: Return to the Plant Path
“All that man needs for health and healing has been provided by God in nature; the challenge of science is to find it.” – Paracelsus
Since I’ve been out of work because of mold illness (find that story here), I have been surprisingly happy. Not just happy, but overwhelmingly happy and excited.
Now don’t get me wrong – I am definitely having moments of panic about paying bills because I for real have no income. It’s terrifying. But despite losing my house, my job, pretty much everything I own and still battling mold sickness, I am so happy.
In many ways it feels like I’m rediscovering me. I have a completed book of poetry that is nearing publication (Update: It’s here!). I am working to improve on guitar and have learned to finger pick (thank you, dear husband, for that lesson). And I have returned to my long-time love – herbal medicine – and it is filling my heart with so much life. Continue reading “Nature Calling: Return to the Plant Path”
I Am Grateful Today for Mold
We are not made for this lifestyle America has glorified. We are made to connect with nature, to create, to serve (without sacrificing your truth and your purpose). Our system is broken. Our mindsets are clouded with false beliefs. We are trapped in a system believing it makes us good, hardworking people and denying that our souls are suffering because of it.
I’ve spent the morning outdoors. It’s chilly, overcast, and the air is a little damp with the threat of rain. I took my boots off to connect my feet with the earth (I’ve read that grounding is more important to healing than the food you eat.). I broke off a sprig of rosemary and breathed in the scent then laid it in my lap as I looked around at nature living all around me – woodpeckers, blue jays, tiny wrens, tubby robins, the bare trees swaying under the weight of squirrels scrambling. I have missed this – sitting in nature simply watching. Alone with my senses and my thoughts.
I’m so grateful for where I am. I am so happy. I am grateful that I am in a place where I can enjoy the morning at my own pace. I can think. I can create. On my own time.
Working in a demanding place, Monday – Friday, 8-4:30 (and later at times), takes away so much. I love the work I do (did?), but I’m realizing on a deeper level that I was fading quickly. Yes, I was full of mold sickness. But at a very deep level, I was unhappy in my job. I was in a place that was misaligned with who I am. Continue reading “I Am Grateful Today for Mold”
The Mold Saga, Part 3: From Detox to Retox (and Floxxed)
I don’t know if I can appropriately put into words the amount of stress that I went through shortly after we were out of the mold house. Our emotions were all over the place – relief, frustration, loss, grief, hope. It tested our ability to experience opposite emotions at the same time.
But after we got rid of 90% of our belongings, we left the house behind us without a thought of regret. It was a disease, and we wanted no part of it any longer.
If you remember from Parts 1 and 2, we continued to be highly reactive any time we came into contact with mold or even mold spores. And by reactive I mean dried out throat, ears popping, vertigo and dizziness, nausea, visual disturbances, severe headaches, tremors, muscle weakness, electric shocks, confusion, difficulty speaking – it’s a bit ridiculous. The extent of these symptoms depended on the length of exposure and whether or not we immediately showered and washed our clothes after exposure. Often the symptoms would not resolve for hours.
So it’s understandable why we actively work to avoid these places and items.
The first few weeks of September were great. I started walking and was so relieved that I could finally exercise – I had never treasured the ability to walk and exercise before, but I did during that time. I was going to get healthier than I’d ever been.
Everyone noticed a difference. My boss remarked on the improvement in my energy and mood. It was shocking how sick I had been and how drastically I changed just by being out of that environment.
And now looking back just a few months to those brief few weeks when I was getting my energy and vitality back, my heart actually feels like it could break because it was devastatingly short-lived.
Continue reading “The Mold Saga, Part 3: From Detox to Retox (and Floxxed)”
The Mold Saga, Part 2: Out with the Mold
“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.
If we fix on the old, we get stuck. When we hang on to any form, we are in danger of putrefaction.
Hell is life drying up.”
Joseph Campbell
It is weird at this point to begin writing about the mold saga. There’s so much that has passed. And there’s so much that’s still ongoing. I feel strangely suspended in time.
After we found the mold, life changed overnight. Literally. We began staying with my parents and only going back to the house to pick up some things that we needed. By the first weekend, we had decided we would be moving out as soon as possible. This was certainly not something we had prepared to do. Even though I had just decided to begin applying to PhD programs, we had no expectation of moving for at least a year out.
Amazingly, Daniel had just moved his business that had been located in our house into another location. It was a little unbelievable how perfectly timed that had been.
So we got to work moving. I went to work during the week, and on the weekends, we planned to work as many hours as we could handle moving our things out. It was during that first weekend, we realized this was not going to be an easy thing to do. Continue reading “The Mold Saga, Part 2: Out with the Mold”
The Mold Saga, Part 1: More than Migraine
The Mold and the Beautiful
Of Mold and Men
The Mold of Our Lives
The Mold and the Restless
Out with the Mold
These are just a few of the titles I’ve been throwing around to describe what has come to be known as the mold saga. A saga is by definition lengthy. It keeps going. And going.
And this definitely feels like a saga. An unending saga of twists and turns, discoveries, hope, disappointment, deep pain, and new beginnings.
Many of you are aware that I’ve been dealing with significant migraines for over a year. In July 2018, I began dealing with on and off depression. This was unusual for me. I often experienced some mild depression in the winter season, but usually the summers were better. But July 2018 was rough. I got sick with some kind of upper respiratory garbage that felt more like intense allergies that just wouldn’t quit. I had on and off nosebleeds. And on and off migraines. I was tired. Like exhausted, hurt-all-over fatigue. But I kept thinking it would let up. Surely I could just change some things in my life and feel a little better. Continue reading “The Mold Saga, Part 1: More than Migraine”